Safe Speed Forums

"I can see leaves!"

The context: This was said by my GF's company's sales director. Obviously I can't give too many details but he drives a less than 12 months old executive saloon with the optional sports pack and optional huge scrape down one side.

He said it while they were doing 90ish on an NSL DC and it turns out that he was amazed at the difference his new contact lenses had made that he could now make out the leaves on the trees. Previously he has had no form of vision correction.

Has anyone had worse?

Years ago, a mate of mine who's a biker was pootling down the High Street in Dorking when an old git pulled out of a side road and hit him. Naturally, he did what bikers often do under these circumstances and fell off, sliding along the pavement on his arse while his bike did the same - scything down a few pedestrians as it went! As he picked himself up, he could see a crowd gathering round the old git's car consoling him and muttering about young hooligans on motorbikes. Now being a jammy git, my mate just hapened to have been witnessed by a motorbike copper who went over and asked said old git if he wouldn't mind reading the registration of such-and-such a car - to which the old chap replied...

...what car?

turned out he had quite advanced cataracts in both eyes!

Slightly off topic, but a mate of mine witnessed a kid getting knocked off his scooter by some dotty old cow walking out onto the road in front of him. The kid was bruised but not badly hurt, but my mate was the only one to see to him whilst the rest of the crowd went to see that she was ok after knocking him off...

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Science won over religion when they started installing lightning rods on churches.

Cruising along a French Autoroute years ago at just over 90 on a very, very cold night with my friend, a Met Police Officer, driving my 635 CSi.
I really didn't want to hear him say "I think we are on sheet ice so I'm going to try to slow down very gently without braking or lifting-off suddenly".
Too much information I said as I got ready for what might happen next. We just slowed gradually to about 40, tried the brakes and, yes, it was sheet ice. Interesting! No, we didn't crash.
He noticed the ice because the revs/indicated speed seemed to increase just slightly a couple of times then drop back again without any apparent reason.

Coming home from a site one night, traffic stopped two trucks blocking L1&2 as there had been a rear end shunt the woman who had shunted had quite a few people milling around (she was being very vocal and hysterical), a lass from the other car, quite deep in shock on the hard shoulder, was very worried about her boyfriend, wrapped her up in a blanket went over to see where boyfriend was by the car that she'd pointed out to me.

Went over and saw the boyfriend laying on the floor (he'd knocked his head, got out of the car and keeled over), one of the crowd looking after the hystrical woman said 'Don't worry about him he's dead.' He got the shock off his life, when the boyfriend sat up when I started checking him over !!

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Gordon Brown saying I got the country into it's current economic mess so I'll get us out of it is the same as Bomber Harris nipping over to Dresden and offering to repair a few windows.

Chaos, panic and disorder - my work here is done.

http://www.wildcrafts.co.uk

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Q. Are you a stupid fascist with limited reading skills or are you just a retard?

I wouldn't like to hear the driver say "the accelerator has jammed open." Unless the driver was a member of SafeSpeed of course.

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Shooting is good for you and too good for some people.

Same thing happened to me back in the mid nineties.

Some old boy driving an (what surely had to be the last working model) Austin 1800 (aka the land crab) pulled out of a junction when I was about 10ft away from him.
Needless to say, I barely had time to apply the brakes at such a short distance let alone expect to stop in time. Fortunately I hit his offside wing and got thrown straight over the car, aside from a couple of bruises I was pretty much unscathed.
Picked myself up and went back to the car to go & speak to the driver, just to find it was some old boy who was wearing glasses that were so thick I initially thought they were made of armour plated glass
Unfortunately the old boy wasn't doing much talking, all he did was sat there and stared out of the window (I think the shock was too much for him).

I too had to endure listening to the old rubbish about "I knew the bike was going too fast because it was making an awful noise"
Fortunately for me, the car behind me had also stopped and the driver was able to confirm exactly what happened and the fact nobody was travelling too fast at all.

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What makes you think I'm drunk officer, have I got a fat bird with me?